SALMOND BEHEADS BRITISH AID WORKER SORRY WRONG STORY

The news just seems to come so fast and furious these days that it seems sometimes to all get mixed up together and after getting Salmon fishing in the Yemen mixed up with Salmond leaping in the Trossachs tonight the images of a beheaded British aid worker just bring home to us the dangers of factions being let off the leash. I suppose the moderate Syrian opposition who after my time at the hands of their secret service makes me hate and loathe the regime did little to show how our support for the opposition would takes on whistles and wings and become yet another more horrific form of Muslem extremist than the last. I suppose in an historical context it's rather satisfying for the Christians to say now looking back at the inquisition and how they wiped out much of South America's native population that we weren't actually that bad after all and the Muslems are worse. This then assists those who have a general downer on religion when we throw the late Good Rev Dr thingey, see I've forgotten his name already, just a pattern of 70s duvet blankets left in my mind then again what had it really got to do with religion and after all its a pretty well known fact that God really did hand down to the Monty Python team the ultimate wisdom that Brian had it right and that pratts like Whitehouse weren't grasping the truth that Life of Brian was a just indictment on factions.

So unless we want everyone wandering around composing songs of praise to the Scottish Great Leader and having to have their hair cut just like him they had best rest on their tartan bonnets and keep the sporrans clean next week and hope that it all goes away with the autumn mists which melt with the rising sun. Well before I wax lyrical too much it's been a fairly dull day again other than moments of sunny promise which always seemed to elude my excursions into the garden. Despite the back situation and being part of a secret mission that I can't tell you about, but black helicoptors could be heading north during the night and certain rebel leaders fearing for their survival as the British establishment show what they are made of , we won't have seen the like since that last great cavalry charge of the forces against the miners, yes other than all that and a truely delicious serving of roast lamb done to perfection and with roasties that the rest of the world can only dream off, yes apart from that and of course the wonderful evening at Clonter opera last night where the 'friends' had a superb entertainment, the school children from local , well errr schools , yes very angelic rendition of hail the great Salmond leapeth, sorry it must be the wine with dinner, actually what the hell was it, Believe - well you can or not but it was.

I wonder what the GCHQ lads make of all this but then I suppose under the 40 years rule I could ask for their files on me from my political era, now I'm just a quiet respectable middle class person but wait I hear you say weren't you the ones who wanted troops out of Northern Ireland, who wanted to dig up the verges and plant vegetables, who wanted peace and free dope , well err again well no matter I can't see much of this tattoed lot of chavs getting anything done, just a new war every month, in my day we had decent wars like Vietnam, there was a war, didn't have to go to fight but we could all demonstrate and boo the yanks and sing praises to Ho Chi Minh and Mao and not realise they would win which is a nice rhyme with Minh don't you think? The thought of that tiny nation in the north, gathered around their annual mass games, singing in harmony to the glory of the dear leader, under the bedclothes all those years ago, this is radio Tirana, this is radio Moscow, this is the evening half baked from Edinburgh. Well I suppose if I was Scottish I'd tell everyone I voted for independence, if they win they'll be a terrible retribution against those who didn't, the ballot papers are marked so they know, nothing secret within the fraternity of the haggis.

The Yorkshire DVDs from yesterday are ready and on our shop. The covers are made, the dinner cooked and eaten, the pudding warming, the wine half full. Another week to Showbus, will the weather hold. Another two weeks to Sri Lanka, will the rain be all day or just the afternoons. Photos from later yesterday in Bradford a charming town situated slightly to the west of Bengal.